books with little pals = big hit!

Ruby loves to pull all of her books out of our shelves and go through them one by one. Her favorite book (by far) these days is In My Nest, given to her as a gift by one of her aunties. She acts like that little blue felted bird that sticks out in every page is her best friend. She nuzzles it nose-to-nose and gives it kisses. I was at a store with her yesterday and found the rest of the line...As I handed her each book, she proceeded to give each animal--fish, bunny, bear, butterfly, owl--a kiss and a little nuzzle. I bought the In My Tree (owl) book and she goes back and forth between the two like she doesn't want to hurt either of their feelings! Love these little books (and, of course, my sweet little girl)!

beating the heat in the city

Dear Brooklyn,

I know I have written you love letters before, but I have just one more thing to add. I really love that you have so darn many parks and playgrounds with fountains and sprinklers incorporated into them for those icky-sticky hot days like today. Ruby and I can walk out the door and into refreshing water play like this within two blocks in any direction.

Keep it cool, BK.

Love,
Annie

love is what's important (random thoughts on gay parenting)

There was a recent study (with 25 years of research) that suggests that children with lesbian parents are well-adjusted and have fewer behavioral problems than their peers with heterosexual parents. My response to this is a resounding: DUH!

I'm not saying that there is anything inherently better about lesbian or gay parents than heterosexual parents. Good parents are good parents, no matter their sexual orientation. The thing is, to me it seems obvious that if you take a random sampling of the overall population of children with hetero parents and a random sampling of children with gay parents, you are going to have a much higher percentage of the latter in loving and nurturing homes (and being in a loving and nurturing home environment, in my humble opinion, is directly related to how socially and behaviorally well-adjusted a child is).

The unfortunate fact is, there are lots and lots of kids out there whose parents didn't mean to have them, whose parents weren't "together" when they got pregnant, and/or whose parents don't give the responsibility of parenting too much thought.

Lesbian or gay couples, however, don't have the luxury of ambivalence or the ability to take parenting for granted. You don't "accidentally" get pregnant if you are a lesbian. Rather, it takes people who are planning for a child so diligently that they have to really go out of their way to have one. If you try that hard to bring a child into your home, chances are you're going to continue to go out of your way to raise your child well and make good decisions and choices to help your child succeed.

Throughout college, I did a lot of babysitting to make extra money. I cared for tons of great kids, but the two who stick out in my mind as particularly amazing little people were a brother-and-sister pair whose two mommies were incredibly attentive, warm, and nurturing parents. These kids were startlingly smart (the little boy was two when I started caring for him and he would do addition, subtraction, and basic multiplication with the food on his plate at dinner) and sweet-sweet-sweet! The fact that their parents were lesbians was irrelevant; instead, what mattered was that they got all of the love and attention that they needed. Every day, their moms played games with them, sang songs with them, read books to them, talked with them, cuddled them, etc. If every child in this country was lucky enough to have parents just half as great as those two moms, imagine how much better off we would be!

Jude and I try our best to be good parents to Ruby by loving each other and loving her and showering her with attention and affection. This has nothing to do with the fact that we are heterosexual, but everything to do with how much we love our family and how badly we want to do right by our daughter. Love is what connects a family, not the constructions of the law.

lullabies for sleepy babes

Lullabies don't need to be children's songs. I repeat: lullabies don't need to be children's songs! I have created playlists and made CDs for friends having new babies for a couple of years now (check out myownlabels.com to make cute personalized CD labels for gifts) and Ruby is calmed by all sorts of soft songs that don't annoy me (which is important). Granted, anything that you play over and over again might get on your nerves (Jude is especially sensitive to this), so the key is to switch up your playlists from time to time while keeping a couple of favorites mixed in to keep baby's sleep association intact.

Here are some favorites of mine for lullabies:

Winter Song (with Ingrid Michaelson) by Sara Bareilles

Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) by Billy Joel

Down To The River To Pray by Alison Krauss

Didn't Leave Nobody But The Baby by Emmylou Harris

So Are You To Me by eastmountainsouth

Waiting On An Angel by Ben Harper

Lullaby by Jack Johnson

Love Me Tender by Elvis Presley

Naked As We Came by Iron and Wine

Birds And Ships (Featuring Natalie Merchant) by Billy Brag and Wilco

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

Lay Me Down by The Frames

Ballad for My One True Love by Mason Jennings

all sunscreens are not created equal

I take Ruby outside as much as possible for fresh air and stimulation, but I am particularly sensitive to her sun protection needs because of a family history of skin cancer.

When I first saw this awesome sunscreen guide from the Environmental Working Group, I was excited. The two types of sunscreen that I had purchased this year and have been using on Ruby this spring--Badger and California Baby--had some of the highest scores on the list. I was so glad that the research I had done through various sites and discussions had led me to the right outcome, but this guide could have saved me a lot of time if I'd seen it first!

I also like that they have a Hall of Shame that points out what is wrong with advertising and marketing ploys in the sun protection industry these days. Much of this is particularly pertinent to the delicate business of protecting baby skin.

Of course, clothing, hats, and shade are the best protection, but exposed skin needs extra help.

Three cheers for the start of summer!

sarah's silks: imagination play

I'm really into simple "toys." I try not to over-stimulate Ruby with a lot of lights and noises in the things she plays with (for example, in her Jumperoo, I never turn on the music and lights) because I want her to interact and play with people and to build her imagination on her own. Ruby's favorite things to play with these days are upturned kitchen bowls as drums and almost anything fabric-based that she can play peek-a-boo with. A favorite is this "playsilk" from Sarah's Silks. It's great because:

• the silk is so smooth and soft and it feels nice on Ruby's skin (at night, before bed, I sometimes just rub her with it or lightly swoosh it over her belly)
  
• it's big, but the silk is so thin that it can be crushed up into a ball the size of my fist to smash into the diaper bag
• it can be used for a million things--right now, Ruby's so young that it's all about peek-a-boo and hiding, but I imagine that down the rode it will be a great item in her dress-up box or for building forts (one of my favorite things to do, even now)
  
• it entertains her for long periods of time

a perfect compact, lightweight stroller

In the city, you need to invest in a good quality, sturdy, lightweight, and compact stroller for being out and about with only one adult and a not-yet-walking baby. Getting up and down stairs (especially the narrow stairs at the subway stations) without the help of a second person is close to impossible with a clunky stroller. I researched a lot and read a lot of reviews before I ended up with the UPPAbaby G-Luxe. I got it in early February and haven't looked back.

Here's what I love about it:

• It's very lightweight in comparison to other strollers of similar size and functionality.
• Not only does it fold up quickly and easily, but it stands upright by itself once it's folded. It also has a built-in carrying strap. All of this made it super easy to travel with when we took the train to Washington, D.C.
• It's a good lookin' stroller and the colors it comes in are unisex for future babies. I'm not saying that it being cute is the most important thing, but you know it counts for something.
• The cup holder holds all sort of things...I don't drink coffee, but I use it for my cell phone, mama snacks, etc.
• It rolls smoothly and got me through many snowy sidewalks this winter.
• Ruby is comfortable in it. She's never had a problem napping in it and she loves to swing her little legs.
• The sun visor is pretty good--it angles different ways and had pretty expansive coverage (though I still slather her up and put a sun hat on her, too).
• The basket for stuff underneath is decent (for a compact stroller) and I can fit Ruby's changing stuff plus some farmer's market veggies and goodies in there no problem.
  

Here's the munchkin in her swanky ride.