hungry mungry

We thought we were going to wait the widely-recommended 6 months before we gave her anything besides breastmilk, but Ruby was showing so many signs of being ready earlier (speck of a tooth coming in, lunging for our food with her mouth wide open, and insatiable appetite) that the pediatrician told us to go ahead and give her some rice cereal. So, at 5 1/2 months, Ruby has officially ended her liquid-only diet.

First thing we needed: a high chair. We couldn't fathom adding yet another stand-alone object to our little apartment, so this Fisher-Price space saver was a great find! It fits securely onto most standard chairs and Ruby seemed comfortable and happy in it from the first time she sat in it.

Next order of business: a bib. Because we don't have a washer and dryer in our apartment, we need to conserve throwing stuff into the laundry as much as possible. The Bumkin waterproof superbibs are actually exactly what they are called: superbibs. They are cute and functional and can be wiped down between feedings rather than laundered.

Next, we can't actually feed her if we don't have any food. Jude--a chef--has for months now been making all her fruit and veggie foods that she's going to start eating in January. He wants her to eat local and organic foods, so he thought to start making (and freezing) the foods this fall so that she can have more variety than what's available at the farmer's markets in the dead of winter! For starting to eat, though, we chose rice cereal (the most common starter food) because it can be mixed with breastmilk and it's very unlikely to cause an allergic reaction. We chose HappyBellies brand brown rice cereal (below link is for 6 canisters, which will last a long time).

We have a couple of beautiful silver and/or stainless steel spoons that Ruby was given as baby gifts, but those will be used later. For now, we needed to find a spoon with a soft tip so that--as she learns to chew and eat--she doesn't damage her tender little gums. My other criteria, of course, was that it had to be BPA-free. These inexpensive spoons from Munchkin did the trick.

And lastly, we got these matching bowls--also BPA-free--for her cereal. Pretty cute, and so much cheaper than most of the other dishware out there that is advertised as BPA-free.

jetsetter baby

Let's be honest: the prospect of flying with your infant is terrifying, especially around the holidays when planes and airports are chaotic and full of anxious travelers. I have heard lots of people recently talking about giving their children Benedryl or other sedatives for flights, but I am wholeheartedly against giving anyone--much less a BABY--any medications that they don't need. Clearly, if I can break my foot while 4 months pregnant and walk around in a cast in NYC for two months without even taking one Tylenol, I am not somebody who is about to shove chemicals down my baby's throat for a plane ride! I also recently read about a plane that had to be diverted for an emergency landing because a sedated baby stopped breathing (no, thank you)!

That being said, a whole day in airports (with an almost 4 hour layover in Detroit--yuck!) with a 5-month-old is not exactly my idea of a fun day.

My biggest worries are Ruby's safety in my lap (we did not pay for an extra seat) in the event of severe turbulence, her ears popping upon takeoff and landing and scaring her into a crying fit, diaper changes in an aiplane bathroom, and her ability to nap in the bright airports and aircrafts.

Here are some things I am carrying with me to combat said worries:

1) Safety Harness

This is a pretty clever little tool that allows your baby freedom of movement on your lap, but holds her close in case of intense turbulence. To me, it's worth the price to have an added safety measure in place.

2) Pacifiers

During take-off and landing, I think breastfeeding is the best option to both soothe baby and help keep her ears clear. However, if baby's not hungry, a pacifier will help do the trick. Also helpful in the airport and for getting to sleep on the flight. For travel, I like the Haba chains that clip to the baby carrier so she can't knock her pacifier to the ground. Also, the soothie pacifiers are BPA-free and my daughter LOVED hers from the first time we offered it. Wubbanubs are also great--they have a Soothie pacifier attatched to a little stuffed animal that makes it easier for baby to hug and hold onto it.

3) Hooter Hider

Breastfeeding is definitely the easiest way to feed (not to mention soothe) baby on the flight). No need to worry about how much milk you're bringing with you in case of delays or layovers. The Bebe Au Lait covers are great because of the boning at the neck to help make a line of vision between you. However, I love-love-love the Busy Baby Wrap because they are simple and stylish enough to leave on as an extra layer on-flight or could double as a blanket for baby.

4) In-flight Entertainment

The key to bringing toys on the plane is that you want stuff that is small enough to pack and also quiet enough to not bug your neighbors (ie. not rattles or squeaky toys). Here is an assortment of some non-toxic toys and teethers that fit the bill.

5) Clean-Up and Cuddling

They are a splurge, but I adore Aden & Anais muslin blankets. They are oversized, which makes swaddling easier, but they are so thin that they can fold up tiny in your bag. I use these for everything--burb cloth, wiping up spit, peek-a-boo, swaddling, cuddling, sun shade, nursing cover, etc. Plus, they're adorable.

6. Diaper Station

There's not a lot of room to change a diaper on an airplane. Keep everything in one place so you're not dragging baby plus five other things into the lavatory.

jumperoo? don't mind if I do!

Ruby has been loving her jumperoo since she was 4 1/2 months old. She bounces around like a drunken sailor and giggles and coos. At 5 1/2 months, she is still slightly too short for the contraption, so we put a yoga mat and a board game box underneath her feet to give her a boost. This was incredibly quick and easy to put together, too!

Ruby enjoying her jumperoo at about 5 months old:

it's the most wonderful time of the year!

I'm writing this a lot later than I wanted to, but I have been busy moving apartments (moving + full-time jobs + baby + Thanksgiving weekend + jury duty + painting old apartment back to white = chaos; thank goodness for my mother-in-law's help!). Now that we are settled in, though, I can focus more on my favorite time of year: the winter holiday season.

Starting a family has made me and Jude start thinking more carefully about what kinds of family traditions we want to uphold in our household. We want Ruby to have a sense of her own history and have consistent things to look forward to that punctuate her years with warmth, kindness, and excitement. We've thought about our own family traditions that we celebrated growing up and some others that we want to start on our own to be special to our new little family. One great place to start getting your creative juices flowing is Cafe Traditions. Their website and blog have all sorts of fun things from crafts to ideas for traditions for different holidays and occasions.

One of my favorites that we do here is directly stolen from a Cafe Traditions reader. The year we got married, Jude and I bought a simple journal (we chose one that doesn't have pictures or designs on it so we won't get sick of it and it won't go out of style) and wrote on the first page: "giving thanks." That year, we each--separately--wrote a journal entry in it on Thanksgiving about everything we were thankful for in our lives and in the past year. Now, each year, we do the same. We have had three Thanksgivings so far in our marriage and it's so much fun already to look back and read what we wrote before. This year, of course, we added Ruby to our family, so there is a lot to be thankful for. As time goes on, Ruby will eventually write entries, too, as well as any other family members we may add in the future. Our hope is that this piece of history becomes a coveted family heirloom for generations to come.

My mother-in-law is starting a nice tradition this year. She got Ruby a special Christmas ornament at an art fair in California and said she will continue to give Ruby a new special ornament each year at Christsmas so that she has her own collection of ornaments. I love this tradition, and there are so many variations. Maybe when Ruby gets older, the two of them will do art projects and make Christmas ornaments as well. If you're looking for unique holiday decorating, I love all the handmade ornaments on Etsy.

Mothering magazine's most recent issue had a great article entitled: "Sustainable Season's Greetings" with lots of wonderful ideas for making a warm and merry holiday season with green practices for entertaining, cooking, and decorating, as well as interesting traditions borrowed from various cultures and different winter holidays. They are selling a digital reprint (immediately available for download and/or printing from your own computer) of the article, along with a collection of staff favorite holiday recipes and tips, on sale for $3.99 this month!

Jude and I try to make a unique gift each year to give to family and friends who we see during the holidays. Two years ago, Jude jarred picked shallots and an herb mustard and I made little paper baggies with the dry ingredients to make my favorite ginger cookies (see below for recipe). We use http://myownlabels.com/ to create the stickers for packaging. Last year, Jude canned a sweet apple butter and a savory apple butter and I made all-natural holiday apple crisp layered soaps.

Jude's parents have a holiday party almost every year at their home in Los Angeles. In the past few years, my mother-in-law has begun to make some sort of craft each year for the guest to take home with them. Two years ago, she made hair clips from found objects around the house. Each guest could choose one. Last year, she used up old scrap quilt materials to make various pot holders everyone could choose from.

I also love making holiday cards. Usually I put a lot of thought into making a fun and unique card, but this year there was too much going on with work and the move to find the time. So this year we just took a family photo (with a tripod) and I'm just doing a simple photo card through Kodakgallery.

One of my many favorite things about the holidays is holiday music. I tend to sing Christmas carols year-round, which--quite simply--drives Jude totally nuts. Now that it's December I have the green light on "Silent Night" as a suitable lullaby to put Ruby to sleep. One of my favorite winter music albums is The Hotel Cafe Presents: Winter Songs with a lovely assortment of sweet songs by various artists. My favorite is "Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles. Another is This Warm December: A Brushfire Holiday, Volume 1.

And what is the holiday season without baked goods, really? My mom comes from a big family of people of who love to bake. She herself is a great baker, too, but she rarely graces us with her talents. Thanksgiving and Christmas, however, are another story. Each year growing up, I so looked forward to "helping" mom make cookies and pies and cakes and bars for the holidays. By helping, of course, I mean standing around ready to pounce on the leftover batters and doughs to lick from beaters and scrape from bowls. And, naturally, making snickerdoodles by taking the excess pie crust scraps and dousing them in cinnamon and sugar to bake into cookies.

I have turned into my mom in this respect--I can bake pretty well, but I only do it for these two favorite occasions. My all-time favorite cookies were aptly-named "Ginger Delicious Cookies" in our household growing up. My mom got the recipe from a "crazy lady" she knew when my parents lived in Beirut. Below is the recipe. Enjoy!

Ginger Delicious Cookies

Ingredients:

½ cup oil

2 t. baking soda

1 cup sugar

¼ t. salt

¼ cup molasses

1 t. cinnamon

1 egg

1 t. cloves

2 cups flour (plus a pinch more)

1 t. ginger

Process:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Form small balls. Roll in sugar. Place round balls on ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 8 minutes. Pull them out before they start to brown and let them cool on baking rack. These should be moist and chewy.

Makes 3-4 dozen small cookies.

Tip: I highly recommend you use a mixer to form the dough – I can never get the texture right by hand!

no, you won't get a booger in your mouth

I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one: my sweet little daughter has a LOT of boogers. She has since the day she was born. Jude and I have worked tirelessly to keep her little nostrils clear, but it's taken a lot of patience (both from us and from Ruby). We had a nasal aspirator that came in a baby care kit we were given as a gift. We would stand over her at the changing table and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, but it would take up to 10 or 15 tries before the booger blockade that was restricting her airflow would dislodge and be close enough to the outside that it could be grabbed and pulled out. I can't tell you how many times this sentence has been uttered in my apartment: "How can something so big come out of that little micro-face?" We tried a couple of different drugstore aspirators, but nothing worked well.

The NoseFrida changed everything.

This little contraption is everything I love in a product: a common-sense idea-turned-incredibly-useful-and-simple gadget. It was originally created in Sweden by pediatricians and ear, nose, and throat specialists. All the thing is is a little plastic tube compartment that you place at the edge of baby's nostril. That is connected to a longer, skinny, soft tube that runs--yes, it seems strange--to your own mouth. There is a little rubber mouthpiece there for you to suck the snot and boogers right out of your baby's nose.

Clearly, the first reaction to this is: what?! I may be her mother, but I don't want her boogers in my mouth! But this is the beauty of this product...you get to control the amount of suction to clear your little darling's nose, but there's no way you could get anything but air into your own mouth.

Firsts of all, you'd be flattering yourself if you thought you were powerful enough to get anything more than an inch into the plastic chamber that catches the nose treasures. Second of all, there is a filtering sponge that separates the plastic chamber from the long skinny tube that goes to your mouth, so even if you are a human vacuum cleaner, you're still safe.

The NoseFrida is easy to use, clean (dishwasher safe), and store (comes in it's own little hard case). And, best of all--it's safe for baby and works significantly better than a regular bulb syringe aspirator.

raising a little citizen of the world

There are so many dreams that I have for my baby girl and so much that I want her to know and see and experience. But my greatest wish for Ruby is that she feel comfortable in this world and, as she grows, makes personal choices that will bring peace, joy, and hope to the lives of others. Ruby is a Little Citizen of the World, and it is my job, as her mama, to help her embody what this means.

In the summer of 2008 during a speech in Berlin, Barack Obama famously called himself a “citizen of the world.” His leadership has breathed new life into the promises our country was founded on and he has been a role model for how far respect and humility can take you on the world stage.

I found out two days after Barack Obama was elected President of the United States that I was pregnant with Ruby. It made me so proud and unapologetically happy that I was bringing our first child into a world in which an African American man had become the president of the United States. She is an heir to a nation in its proudest moment.

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I am so glad that this is the village that will raise Ruby.

As I said before, Ruby is a Little Citizen of the World. As her mama, I feel a sense of urgency and responsibility to live up to the ideals of the wave of hopefulness that was sweeping the nation at the time she first made contact with this world. I want to teach Ruby to interact with the world, yet know that it doesn't revolve around her. I want to teach her to respect and admire other people and cultures and ways of life, and to always seek to understand before judging. I want to teach Ruby to give back and to feel blessed and humbled by, not entitled to, good fortune. I want to teach her to love and be loved, to smile at strangers, and to always help someone in need. I want to teach Ruby to fight with words and understand the power of her actions. I want to teach Ruby to be kind to the earth and rejoice in Mother Nature's bounty in exchange. I want her to experience all that is good and wonderful in this world and to continue to bring joy and laughter into it. I want to teach Ruby to be passionate and compassionate and to always strive to be the best version of herself that she can.

The hard part is figuring out how to do this. How do we, as parents, raise our children to be upstanding Little Citizens of the World?

My own parents raised four Little Citizens of the World. Sometimes I wish I could wrap up my childhood in a nice little bundle, tie it up with a big beautiful bow, and give it to Ruby as a gift. My parents were lucky enough to expose us to an amazing breadth of experiences. I was born in Singapore and grew up between there, Hong Kong, and La Crosse, Wisconsin. By the time I graduated from college, I had traveled to over 30 countries and much of the United States.

Although we were very blessed by our family’s ability to provide these experiences, my parents did not allow us to feel entitled. They taught us that hard work was the necessary exchange for any good fortune in life.

My parents were able to give us these experiences because of their personal choices, the right career circumstances, hard work, and their eventual financial security. They could have easily not taken the overseas assignments or chosen to stay home during the summers for a much simpler lifestyle and the elimination of a lifetime’s worth of logistical nightmares. But they chose to take advantage of every opportunity so that they could show their children the world.

Jude and I do not have the luxury at this time of jobs with overseas assignments, much less the flexibility or disposable income to travel the globe with our little family. With Ruby, we are going to have to be creative and find less obvious ways to expose her to the world and teach her the lessons we want her to learn.

Ruby is only four months old, but we have already been trying to show her the world. There is no time like the present--even if she is too young to consciously remember these things later in life, I believe that we are shaping her worldview with every day that passes.

We have brought her to museums to see art. We have taken her all over New York City to see new faces of strangers every day and experience all of the sights and smells and sounds of urban life. We take her to parks and gardens as often as we can so she gets constant doses of “tree energy” (as grandpa Victor calls it). We take her to street festivals, neighborhood gatherings, and community events like watching the NYC marathon. We read books and look at photos and talk and talk and talk with her.

As she grows older, we want to teach Ruby about different cultures and traditions and religions so she can learn from them and decide what is important to her. For example, Jude has a family tradition of celebrating El Dia De Los Muertos with a shrine to honor all those loved ones who have passed away that we have carried on in our own home.

We also want to instill in Ruby a sense of civic duty and social justice. I am excited to share with her my passion for community service and volunteering and finding ways to be the change that you believe in.

Jude will teach her to appreciate food, to cook fresh meals, and to invest in our future by buying locally and eating whole foods. I want Ruby to be the kind of person who thinks to write a thank you note to the farmer who grew the vegetables she cooked for a particularly delicious meal!

I want to teach her to think of the ethics behind her choices and to make informed decisions based on what is best for more than just herself. I can model this by supporting local businesses in my neighborhood and others that I believe in--like Tea Collection, a wonderful company that sells adorable children's clothing reflecting cultures around the world and that donates to organizations like the Global Fund for Children. Tea Collection's tagline is "for little citizens of the world," which inspired this post.

One year ago, on election night, my regularly quiet Brooklyn neighborhood was uncharacteristically exuberant and abuzz with joy. Jude and I floated with a sea of neighbors celebrating the strength of our fellow Americans. People were singing, dancing, hugging strangers, crying happy tears, and spontaneously chanting, in unison, “Yes we did! Yes we did! Yes we did!”

I know that someday, when Ruby is a grown woman with a strong moral compass and a humble heart full of compassion and passion, Jude and I will sit back and smile, happy that we--with the help of this village--raised a Little Citizen of the World. And we will look at each other and say: “Yes we did! Yes we did! Yes we did!”

does this baby go with my outfit?

People were wearing babies well before they were pushing strollers, but parents' different lifestyle needs have a lot to do with how often they do it these days. If I lived in a place where I was zipping around in a car, then my car seat/stroller combo would be the logical choice for most outings. But here in NYC, I'm not going to lug my stroller around up and down the subway stairs or into the tiny corner store to pick up some groceries if I don't need to. People definitely have strollers here, but they can also really get in the way (cut to mom with a double-wide taking up the whole sidewalk while I was rushing to get to work the other day). I have watched many mothers patiently waiting on the subway platform for a train empty enough for them to squeeze in with her kid's stroller. The solution? Make your baby part of your outfit.

Even though my back has been killing me since the second trimester of my pregnancy (try walking around in Manhattan all day with a bowling ball and two milk jugs strapped to your torso) and it's only getting worse with how much I hold Ruby and wear her in slings and carriers, I LOVE TO WEAR MY BABY!!!

There are so many benefits to baby-wearing--parent-baby bonding, baby's feeling of security in a womb-like environment (Jude dubbed our Hotsling with the newborn cradle hold his "man womb"), mama being hands-free while getting stuff done, etc.

I'm not gonna lie. I have an absurd number of carriers. Partly because I received some as gifts and partly because I have gotten advice for my aching back that has led me to try new ones. I am actually glad that I have more than one, because at this point I like different ones for different reasons and use a couple of them pretty regularly. That being said, now that I know them each so well, I could do with 2 or 3.

Here's what I have and what I think of them.

Moby Wrap:
Pros: most comfortable, cozy, affordable, various holds
Cons: time & space for getting it on
Regular Price: $39.95

This is the best wrap when Ruby is sleepy...or it puts her to sleep when she's not! The newborn holds are just so comfy and cozy--for mama and baby. The real selling point for me is back comfort--this is hands-down the most comfortable of the carriers for my back because it distributes the weight throughout my entire torso, hips, and shoulders. It's so kangaroo-like that it feels a little bit like being pregnant again, too...which makes me believe that it feels a little bit like being in the womb again for Ruby. She has always been immediately calm and content in the Moby. The downside, though (and it can be a pretty big one) is that it is a little trickier than the others to put on and take off. If this were as easy to put on as, say, the Bjorn, I'd wear this one every day! But, alas, it's not. It's one looooooong piece of fabric that you need to have room to spread out and then tie around you and pull around your back and over your shoulders. It's not that it's actually hard to do conceptually--it's actually quite simple--but you need space and time for it. If you've taken the baby out of the carrier to feed her in a restaurant, for example, it's hard to manuever in tight quarters to get the thing wrapped again. I use it whenever I'm fairly confident she's going to sleep through the whole outing.

Hotsling:
Pros: easy to take on and off, various holds, great cradle for newborns, lots of fabric choices
Cons: weight on one side, less "hands-free"
Regular Price: $44

For the newborn cradle hold, this is very cuddly and womb-like. My Hotsling was my go-to sling for longer outings while Ruby was newborn to about 2 months old when it got replaced by the Bjorn as they easiest to get her in and out of. Now it's still easy and quick to use, but since she's sitting up in it, it makes her feel less secure to me and I end up "holding" her anyway; thus, not "hands-free." Also, the weight of it really drags down one shoulder, so I always hold her up from the botton to relieve some of the pressure.

Maya Wrap (lightly padded):
Pros: beautiful fabrics, easy breastfeeding, pocket on "tail"
Cons: difficult to maneuver the rings, baby squirms
Regular Price: $59.99

I really, really, really want to love the Maya Wrap. The fabric is gorgeous and I love that it is built to make breastfeeding easy in public (baby can feed from inside the sling and you can toss the "tail" over the top for privacy). However, I always struggle to get the fabric pulled comfortably through the loops and to get the tension and slack correct around the baby. And, while Ruby loves to be in every other sling, this is the only one that she squirms and squirms in to get comfortable.

Baby Bjorn:
Pros: fool-proof & quick on and off, best for dad
Cons: overpriced, weight pulls on shoulders & upper back, boring fabrics and design
Regular Price: 79.99 (currently $59.00 on amazon.com)

The Bjorn is the one that I never felt particularly compelled to love, but it quickly became our most-used carrier as soon as Ruby was old enough that we didn't feel like we were doing permanant structural damage to her body by holding her up between the legs (something that looks so uncomfortable to me, but she has never seemed to mind). When she faces in she put her head down to the side and snoozes. When she faces out (started doing this at about 10 weeks) she holds onto whatever she can grasp (we usually give her our thumbs) and takes in the world with awe. It's not very cozy, but it's just so darn easy to get on and off that it's a no-brainer to grab it and run. This, however, has been to the detriment of my poor, poor back. This one is the worst of all of them on my back, but the best on Jude's. I think it is because it hold all the weight from the shoulders and upper back and pulls down in the front, which is where women carry all their weight anyway, much more so during pregnancy and early motherhood. Still, though...did I mention just how easy it is to put on?

BabyHawk (BabyHawk Mei Tai):
Pros: very comfortable, sleek custom fit with different options for ties, most choices for fabrics & design
Cons: expensive, there is an "in-between" phase for babies where neither hold seems right
Price: starting at $80

This is my new favorite carrier! I just got it recently after trying on a friend's and finally breaking down to take the $80 plunge in the name of pain relief! Not only is the BabyHawk similar to the Bjorn in terms of ease to put on and take off (though nothing is as easy as the Bjorn), but the base of the weight you're carrying is set down into the hips because of the waist tie. The first time I used it I was amazed at the comfort. I didn't think anything could match the Moby, but this does. The only thing I can say mildly negative at this point is that Ruby is at an odd age for it right now--she's not quite big enough to comfortably straddle my whole torso for the basic hold, but she's also a little big for the newborn hold at the moment. I think within a few weeks this will be the best of the bunch! As for buying options: you can buy basic designs ready-made on amazon.com, or you can customize your own by choosing from hundreds of gorgeous fabrics and accessories on their web site. This is what I did and it was so much fun, though you have to wait for the custom order (which is why some people prefer to order it ready-made).

I heart the BabyHawk.

Buy ready-made Babyhawks on Amazon.com.
Buy custom-made Babyhawks on the company's site.

Baby-wearing is a wonderful way to connect with your baby, even while you're getting things done--at home or out on the town. It's like a permanent hug. How can you say no to that?